Archive for: September 2007

Thank you John Francom for this submission:

A bear was walking across Rainbow Bridge (Old Hwy 40 at Donner Summit, Truckee) on Saturday when two cars also crossing the bridge scared the bear into jumping over the edge of the …

A woman comes home and tells her husband, “Remember those headaches I’ve been having all
these years? Well, they’re gone.”

“No more headaches?” the husband asks, “What happened?

His wife replies, “Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand …

In a small, conservative, Midwestern town, a new bar/tavern started a building to open up business. The local Baptist church started a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions and prayers.  Work progressed, however, right up till the …

A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, “honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It’s been flickering for weeks now. “

He looks …

What a difference 30 years makes:
1972: Long hair

2002: Longing for hair

1972: The perfect high

2002: The perfect high yield mutual fund

1972: KEG

2002: EKG

1972: Acid rock

2002: Acid reflux

1972: Moving to California because it’s cool

2002: Moving to California because it’s warm

1972: Growing …

HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE,
The cat did a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun,
When it died of electric shock.

HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall!
All the kings horses and all the kings men had
Scrambled eggs for breakfast again.

SIMPLE SIMON met a Pieman
Going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman
“What have you got there?”
Said the Pieman unto Simon
“Pies, you dumbass!”

Mary Had a Little Lamb

She tied it to the heater

Every time it turned around

It burned its little peter